The Emoticon: Dating Advice for a New Generation

I was having a conversation with my sister a while back. She was in the midst of a dilemma involving a boy and the best way to tell said boy that she was

just not interested.

She called me for advice on the issue, but I had to admit to her that it's been waaaay toooo long since I had to do any breaking up. And back when I did all the breaking up, we didn't have anything as convenient as IM and Text Messaging to do our dirty work. (Oh the guilt induced get-back-togethers that could have been avoided. AM I RIGHT? Amen.)

During the course of our conversation, which I found very exciting since, you know, I haven't done any dating or whatnot in sooo looong, I ended up putting her on speaker phone so that Joe could chime in his well-deserved 2 cents. Because he is a DATING EXPERT.

(His advice to her was much more pragmatic than mine. Just tell him you don't like him--over the phone or in person--and leave it at that.) Not cool, Joe. Not cool.

I tend to be more on team "Be Very Elusive Until He Gets The Hint."

My best advice? Use the emoticons at your disposal.

Text Message to Random Boy You Don't Like: Yeah. I'm busy all of those days you potentially are going to ask me on a date. Thanks for the invitation, though. =) 

Always, always, put a smiley face at the end.

Because the emoticon is a revolutionary invention. Yeah, sometimes it can get a bit annoying. I totally over-use it in my emails. Along with ellipses and exclamation points. (But that's just part of my charm!)

An emoticon can take a hurtful comment and make it ambiguous. It can make criticism seem not so bad.

How could there possibly be anything better than this in the modern dating world?

I think you are a creep =) 

See? That doesn't sound so bad, does it?

So, I told my sister that no matter what she decides to say, she MUST use a happy emoticon afterwards.

You know, to take the bite out a bit.

And that, my friends, is all the dating advice that I can give these days.

You can thank me later. =)